February 20th

The prep work this week talked about transitions into marriage. I think the transitional period in anything is difficult but marriage especially difficult. You have to go from living on your own to being committed and sealed to someone else and suddenly they are like your second half. You have to share a house, a bathroom, a bed, a kitchen, etc. with them and so it is something really difficult to transition to. Then once you finally get settled you start talking about having kids and once you have kids you have to share everything with them too. You have to go from having a semi-clean house to a mess because you have a toddler running around.

There is also a transitional period when you start a new job. If you had a job before you are still used to there way of doing things but once you start the new job, then you have to transition to a whole new way of thinking. One big transitional experience I have had in my life so far is moving out of my mom’s house and moving into college with roommates. I went from being quarantined with just my mom and I to living with 5 other fresh out of high school girls and we had to figure out how to survive on our own. It was hard cause I went from basically being an only child (while my brother was on his mission) to having what turned out to be basically four sisters. It was a tough transition, but I have had so much support from friends and family back home as well as friends I have made up here at college who are willing to help me when I am in need. One thing that I enjoy about learning to live with roommates is it is essentially going to teach me how to live with my future husband.

I have had my ups and downs with my roommates, but they have taught me so much. They have taught me how I want things to be, but they have also taught me how to compromise. I have learned to choose my battles because sometimes it is more important to keep the piece than to get mad over a stolen piece of food. My communication skills have also improved because I am able to voice my problems and concerns when something is bugging me or not running smoothly, it makes the apartment run better when we can talk things out. Although it will be different with a husband it still has taught me so much that will help me transition into a husband- wife setting when I finally(hopefully) get married.

February 13th 2021

 I really enjoyed the class this week. We talked about dating and how to know if you are dating and marrying the right person. It was interesting to hear everyone's different opinions. It was also nice to get some ideas for dates. I am not someone who has gone on a lot of dates so I really enjoyed being able to hear advice. 

My roommates and I often talk about guys and we talk about qualities that we want in our future husbands. I have come to realize some qualities I want through the guys I have in my life. For example last semester my FHE brothers were some amazing guys and they were complete gentlemen to us. They always made us feel like we were loved and we are able to talk to them about anything. It made me realize that those things are want in my future husband. There are so many other guys and qualities that I could share but the idea is that I am starting to realize what I want.

Something I wanted to talk about is going on dates. I haven't gone on a lot of dates but the ones I have gone on have been fun. Some questions that I have had are how can I plan an effective date? How can I have an effective second plan if my first one goes wrong? 

It is interesting to me how there are some people who can just go up to a guy/girl and just ask them on a date with no second thought. It scares me so much I have to really work up to it. I also liked how we discussed how girls can also ask guys out on a date. I think sometimes we forget that and just expect the guys to ask us but in doing that we are making it harder on the guys. I think they wish that we would ask them sometimes. I think that we need to give guys more credit cause even the thought of having to ask a guy out freaks me out.

Another thing is getting married and how fast a couple decides to get married. Overall it depends on the couple but if you get engaged/ married after like a week do you really know each other that well? How can you really know this person if you haven't seen them handle different experiences? What happens if you get married and then you realize you don't really like this person? It makes it harder to leave the relationship because it is a marriage. Personally, I want to wait a little bit. I am somebody who doesn't open up that fast so my boyfriend is going to have to know that and help me because this is something that I struggle with. I think I really need to know them before I make such a commitment to them because it is not something you can just reverse, it is an eternal covenant.

We also talked about how it is becoming more an acceptable to live with each other before marriage. I have seen so many people who go and live with their boyfriend/ girlfriend while they are just dating and it doesn't work out. The difference is they didn't have that thing that was keeping them together. They had less reason to try and solve whatever problem they were having. 

Overall there are so many things with dating and marriage that need to be considered that some people just blow right past and I think that is the reason some marriages don't work out.

February 6th 2021

  I really enjoyed this week’s classes. Gender is such an essential part of a family. There are strengths and weaknesses in both genders but overall, they complement each other and of able to work together to be a good family. For example, women are able to become pregnant and give birth to children and in doing so create a family, but of course they wouldn’t be able to do that in the first place without having a husband. Women are naturally more nurturing which is good for when you have children, and they need somebody to nurture them in saying this men can also be very nurturing but it is more common for women to have this quality.

Something that can throw off the balance of a family is when they are a family with a homosexual couple as the parents it is hard to give the child the different qualities that both men and women have. For example, if a lesbian couple has a child it would be hard for that child to have that father figure. They would probably tend to look towards people outside of there family to fill that role because there are some things that a father can do that a mother can’t but that also is the same the other way around. If a gay couple has a daughter, they aren’t going to be able to give some of those motherly qualities that a mother could give. They wouldn’t be able to teach by experience about things that happens to a woman’s body. The thing is they don’t need to know those things, but it creates an easier family dynamic if there is a straight up father figure and a mother figure. There are so many questions that kids would need to ask but they can’t ask a parent who doesn’t understand physically what they are going through. A mom wouldn’t know what is happening with her son as well as she would know with her daughter and vise versa. It robs the child of the necessary knowledge to grow up and learn about themselves and about their growing bodies.

In conclusion it is best to have a mother and a father because the different roles in the family are able to create a balance between the family. They are able to describe things that the opposite gender couldn’t. Most of the time it creates an easier life for the kid.