April 3

Divorce is always a tricky subject to talk about. People get divorced for so many different reasons and that it is hard to pinpoint why so may people get divorced. Sometimes it is just not what is right for that specific couple. Some people get divorced because they rushed into things and never sat down and truly thought about what they were doing and who they were marrying. Some people wait a little longer to get divorced because they think they can work through it or they have kids thinking it will fix their marriage when all it does is actually make it worse. People have kids and then get divorced and eventually remarry somebody else and then that creates blending families.

Blending families can sometimes work out really well but then sometimes there is tension between the kids because they aren’t actual biological sibling, but they are living together under the same roof. Have this kind of families can be pretty difficult. Knowing what you are doing before creating these types of families is best. Blended families can be such a great thing but only under the right mindset. If the parents think about how they can blend these families together before they do it and talk to the kids before they make a decision in is much more likely to run smoother and blend easier.

I have seen a lot of kids my age go through divorces with there parents and it is really hard to watch. You can see the kid start to blame themselves and they become depressed because they don’t understand why their parents can’t just stay together. While some kids already saw a divorce coming so although they are sad, they knew that it couldn’t continue being the way it was. When a couple divorces when they have kids, it is important to talk about how they can make it run as smoothly as possible for the kid. When parents start to fight over their children, they make it about themselves when they need to be thinking who would be better for the kid to live with full time or where can the kids go to school.

Sometimes divorce is inevitable but in the long run the way to deal with what will happen after the divorce is the biggest part. Being angry and childish will make it so you don’t accomplish anything. Same with the blended families if you think about how blending each family will affect the children and how life will work once you blend the family then it is more likely to work out and be more successful.

March 27th

 

Parenting is something that is different for everyone. There are so many different parenting styles used in the world today. Personally, I think that depending on your family any of them could work. Some children need their parents to be more strict so that they have a structure in there lives and are told how to live there lives in a sense, but some kids need to be more independent so that they can figure it out on their own.

There are also many trails and challenges in becoming a parent. Some people think they are ready for it when in all reality maybe they shouldn’t be having children yet. Praying about whether you should have children or not is super important. The number of children that you have should be between you your spouse and the Lord. Children are such a blessing to this earth. They are so pure and have good intent in their hearts. The way we raise these children matters so much. Obviously not everyone is going to be perfect but in the long run if we raise respectful kids then our world will start to become a better place. If we raise our kids to respect each ither than I feel like we would be able to get so much more done. If we could teach them have to respect other people’s opinions then we could have respectful debates and be able to accomplish something in the end.

When we grow up we always say how we don’t want to be like our parents but when we actually start parenting you will see how much of there parenting style actually made sense. Some people grow up to be exactly like there parent and that is not always a bad thing. If you grew up and turned out well then there is no reason you shouldn’t consider being like your parents a little bit if that works for your family.

In conclusion parenting comes in all different styles and varieties but in order to truly know what works for your family you need to try different things. Try and be like your parents but also try and create your own way of parenting depending on how your kids are and how they respond to the different parenting styles. God can also help you know how to best raise your kids and teach the most you can and in the most effective way possible.

March 11

 We talked in class about communication and the different forms of communication and I found it very interesting. Communication in relationships can be really hard if you don't go about it correctly but it really is key. Without proper communication, relationships become 10 times harder than they need to be. All the time in movies and TV shows the drama gets created most of the time because of lack of communication. For example in one of my all-time favorite TV shows "Gilmore Girls", so many of the problems get created because they don't talk to each other and they keep things from each other for too long. An example from this show is when one of the characters doesn't tell her boyfriend that she talked to her ex and he freaks out, when in reality if she would have been upfront about it then the boyfriend wouldn't have really cared because she communicated and was upfront and honest about it. 

Sometimes it easier said than done though. We don't always feel the need to communicate everything when sometimes it is necessary. Lack of communication can create a wall between two people in a relationship. The wall is built up because you start to feel guilty for not communicating something that wouldn't have been such a big deal if you would have said it to the other person in the first place. It also lessens the amount of confusion in a relationship. For example, if you are going on multiple dates with somebody but neither of you communicate what you are then there will be a big thing of confusion in the relationship because neither of you know what the relationship is. Are you casually dating? Serious relationship? Neither of you know until you talk and communicate.

Somebody else that it is important to communicate with is Heavenly Father. If you have any problems or worries, he is somebody with through communication you can share everything with and you can receive answers to prayers in many different ways of communication through him. God can communicate is so many different ways including promptings, blessings, trials, other people, talks, events, etc. There are so many ways we can communicate with our Heavenly Father and he will respond as long as we are trying and keeping the communication constant.

We learn are earliest knowledge of our communication from our parents which is why it is so important teach our kids you how to have good communication skills. I think having those skills will help so much later in their lives. It will help them academically, socially, it will even help them when they are getting jobs when they are older. Although nobody has perfect communication skills as long as we try and communicate then we are far better off then if we just keep it to ourselves.

February 20th

The prep work this week talked about transitions into marriage. I think the transitional period in anything is difficult but marriage especially difficult. You have to go from living on your own to being committed and sealed to someone else and suddenly they are like your second half. You have to share a house, a bathroom, a bed, a kitchen, etc. with them and so it is something really difficult to transition to. Then once you finally get settled you start talking about having kids and once you have kids you have to share everything with them too. You have to go from having a semi-clean house to a mess because you have a toddler running around.

There is also a transitional period when you start a new job. If you had a job before you are still used to there way of doing things but once you start the new job, then you have to transition to a whole new way of thinking. One big transitional experience I have had in my life so far is moving out of my mom’s house and moving into college with roommates. I went from being quarantined with just my mom and I to living with 5 other fresh out of high school girls and we had to figure out how to survive on our own. It was hard cause I went from basically being an only child (while my brother was on his mission) to having what turned out to be basically four sisters. It was a tough transition, but I have had so much support from friends and family back home as well as friends I have made up here at college who are willing to help me when I am in need. One thing that I enjoy about learning to live with roommates is it is essentially going to teach me how to live with my future husband.

I have had my ups and downs with my roommates, but they have taught me so much. They have taught me how I want things to be, but they have also taught me how to compromise. I have learned to choose my battles because sometimes it is more important to keep the piece than to get mad over a stolen piece of food. My communication skills have also improved because I am able to voice my problems and concerns when something is bugging me or not running smoothly, it makes the apartment run better when we can talk things out. Although it will be different with a husband it still has taught me so much that will help me transition into a husband- wife setting when I finally(hopefully) get married.

February 13th 2021

 I really enjoyed the class this week. We talked about dating and how to know if you are dating and marrying the right person. It was interesting to hear everyone's different opinions. It was also nice to get some ideas for dates. I am not someone who has gone on a lot of dates so I really enjoyed being able to hear advice. 

My roommates and I often talk about guys and we talk about qualities that we want in our future husbands. I have come to realize some qualities I want through the guys I have in my life. For example last semester my FHE brothers were some amazing guys and they were complete gentlemen to us. They always made us feel like we were loved and we are able to talk to them about anything. It made me realize that those things are want in my future husband. There are so many other guys and qualities that I could share but the idea is that I am starting to realize what I want.

Something I wanted to talk about is going on dates. I haven't gone on a lot of dates but the ones I have gone on have been fun. Some questions that I have had are how can I plan an effective date? How can I have an effective second plan if my first one goes wrong? 

It is interesting to me how there are some people who can just go up to a guy/girl and just ask them on a date with no second thought. It scares me so much I have to really work up to it. I also liked how we discussed how girls can also ask guys out on a date. I think sometimes we forget that and just expect the guys to ask us but in doing that we are making it harder on the guys. I think they wish that we would ask them sometimes. I think that we need to give guys more credit cause even the thought of having to ask a guy out freaks me out.

Another thing is getting married and how fast a couple decides to get married. Overall it depends on the couple but if you get engaged/ married after like a week do you really know each other that well? How can you really know this person if you haven't seen them handle different experiences? What happens if you get married and then you realize you don't really like this person? It makes it harder to leave the relationship because it is a marriage. Personally, I want to wait a little bit. I am somebody who doesn't open up that fast so my boyfriend is going to have to know that and help me because this is something that I struggle with. I think I really need to know them before I make such a commitment to them because it is not something you can just reverse, it is an eternal covenant.

We also talked about how it is becoming more an acceptable to live with each other before marriage. I have seen so many people who go and live with their boyfriend/ girlfriend while they are just dating and it doesn't work out. The difference is they didn't have that thing that was keeping them together. They had less reason to try and solve whatever problem they were having. 

Overall there are so many things with dating and marriage that need to be considered that some people just blow right past and I think that is the reason some marriages don't work out.

February 6th 2021

  I really enjoyed this week’s classes. Gender is such an essential part of a family. There are strengths and weaknesses in both genders but overall, they complement each other and of able to work together to be a good family. For example, women are able to become pregnant and give birth to children and in doing so create a family, but of course they wouldn’t be able to do that in the first place without having a husband. Women are naturally more nurturing which is good for when you have children, and they need somebody to nurture them in saying this men can also be very nurturing but it is more common for women to have this quality.

Something that can throw off the balance of a family is when they are a family with a homosexual couple as the parents it is hard to give the child the different qualities that both men and women have. For example, if a lesbian couple has a child it would be hard for that child to have that father figure. They would probably tend to look towards people outside of there family to fill that role because there are some things that a father can do that a mother can’t but that also is the same the other way around. If a gay couple has a daughter, they aren’t going to be able to give some of those motherly qualities that a mother could give. They wouldn’t be able to teach by experience about things that happens to a woman’s body. The thing is they don’t need to know those things, but it creates an easier family dynamic if there is a straight up father figure and a mother figure. There are so many questions that kids would need to ask but they can’t ask a parent who doesn’t understand physically what they are going through. A mom wouldn’t know what is happening with her son as well as she would know with her daughter and vise versa. It robs the child of the necessary knowledge to grow up and learn about themselves and about their growing bodies.

In conclusion it is best to have a mother and a father because the different roles in the family are able to create a balance between the family. They are able to describe things that the opposite gender couldn’t. Most of the time it creates an easier life for the kid.

January 30th

I think the way our family is greatly affected by our social class and who we are surrounded by. I grew up in a very diverse city and went to a diverse school. There were so many different cultures around me I was able to learn and grow as a person by meeting the people I met. But also, with this there are downfalls, around where I grew up there were a lot of Hispanic kids at my school and with this, they didn't always have the best home life. A lot of the kids had family members who were back in Mexico and so they weren't able to have the full family experience like other people.

I also think being in a higher social class can help and hurt your family dynamics. Sometimes when families have more money, they tend to spoil their kids and then the kids never learn to work for themselves and end up getting money from their parents all their lives. Being in a lower social class doesn’t give the parents or kids as many opportunities to get jobs and earn money but also to go out and experience the world. People who don’t have as much money aren’t as able to go on vacation which limits their experience in the world, while people with money can travel the world and see many different cultures.

For my family and I being in the social class that we are in and the environments that we were surrounded by it made us closer, because we saw so many people go through hard times it made us appreciate each other at a different level. I saw that some people didn’t have a dad from a super young age and so it made me appreciate mine while he was here all that much more.

In conclusion I definitely think are social class and the culture around us affects us and our families. That can be for the good and for the bad. Each family has to learn for themselves what type of environment works best for them to have a successful family dynamic and to raise children who know how to live in the world and run their lives in the world. The children they raise can then raise their children the same and we could be able to live a little easier in the crazy world that we are living in today.